after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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