I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
