The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
