Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He better not be in your backpack
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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