It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Vodka?
Forever.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
