I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
