apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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