K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
