I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
