I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
