Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
