Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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