Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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