So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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