Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
