I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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