we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize