My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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