I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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