btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
