dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
