you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
