im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You're a disaster
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