You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
even my farts smell like vagina
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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