I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Randomize
