Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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