Nicole vs. Life
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
