I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
