i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
