I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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