like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
