I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
