so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I am naked and annoyed.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
