I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I faked an abortion last night.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
