She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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