Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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