I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
