He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
