I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
