I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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