Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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