we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
did i walk over a car last night?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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