I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize