is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
