So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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