There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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