Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
