Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
