I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
