just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
