i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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