That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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