I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
