my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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