we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
