i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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