I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize