is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
