What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
