Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
