Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I've blown a few things in my day
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
