I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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