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• (646): View more from New York

  How is your vagina???

  (941): View more from Florida

  Double booked

  (646): View more from New York

  With your butt?

  (941): View more from Florida

  Totes, candlesticks and all

  (646): View more from New York

  Yay!!

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• (845): View more from New York

  think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes

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• (760): View more from California

  I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  she's a dina-saur

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...

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• (212): View more from New York

  When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.

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