haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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